How to find calm amongst the chaos
Is the ‘chaos’ inside of you, or outside of you? Notice the difference and how to react accordingly to return to calm, and productive thinking.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I would spiral in negative thinking, overthinking and self-doubt. Or, would find myself in a highly chaotic or over-stimulating situation and subconsciously take on the external stress without realising it.
If you’ve ‘been there done that’, you know how horrendous it is.
Over time I started to pay attention and slowly developed a system, a mantra/motto, which works for me and which I share with my clients:
When the chaos is in - go out,
When the chaos is out - go in.
What I realised was, there are two types of what I call chaos - the internal and the external - and there was something I could do to alleviate both. Let me explain:
CHAOS IN, GO OUT:
When I feel myself slipping into overthinking, negative thinking or high levels of stress caused by whatever is going on in my head when the environment is otherwise normal around me, I realise that the chaos is in me. I’m creating it. And it sucks. It gets to the point that I can almost feel the weight of it in my mind and body, and, it’s not helpful! That thinking is getting me nowhere but stuck. It isn’t productive at all.
So, I learnt to “go out” - to literally get up or stop what I’m doing and do something completely different and preferably physical. For me, the ideal is to go for a run or a fast walk or hard hike, (preferably up a hill that makes me puff and sweat!) or put on good music and sing out loud or dance, or go rip some weeds out in the garden… something, anything to move that negative energy, to put my body to use to quiet my mind and shift its focus.
What I would find, especially if I am able to get out for the run or hike, is that by the time I’m back I’ve moved it through, moved it out of me, and then I have my brain back and ready and able to assess the situation with a clear mind and come to a resolution.
Don’t have the time? Think again - the time wasted stuck in that kind of thinking is counterproductive and time that you can’t get back. The quicker you move through it, the quicker you’ll return to productivity.
We think better when we’re not drowning in thinking!
CHAOS OUT, GO IN:
Can you picture a situation that you’ve found yourself in where there is excess noise and chaos around you?
Perhaps in the middle of the city with frustrated drivers locked in gridlock, pedestrians bumping into each other, someone near you yelling abuse at a passerby, security chasing a shoplifter down the street, horns, voices, lights… it’s a lot. You might feel your heart racing, your eyes darting, your breathing rate increasing and suddenly without actually doing a thing, your good mood is gone, replaced with heightened stress or frustration or agitation.
But, that chaos is not yours, it’s outside of you. So… go in.
By going in, I mean literally move your focus inside of you: observe your thoughts and tell them to calm down. Hum if you need to. Focus on your breath and slow it down. If you’re on foot, slow down, ease up, back off. Force a gentle smile onto your face, relax your forehead. If you know how to meditate, do it now - you can meditate anywhere even walking or in your car or on a bus. Anywhere. Just bring yourself back to you - back to your body. (Of course be sure that you are safe and if not get yourself to safety immediately!).
You are not that chaos, you are not that noise, you are not that stress. You are just witnessing it, sensing it, and taking it on board. So, go in. Ground yourself in your body, breathe slowly and reclaim your calm.
We can find our calm, even in the midst of external chaos.
I don’t always nail it, but having this mantra and this awareness has helped me a lot and over time I’m getting better and faster at identifying what is happening and reacting accordingly.
I hope you find it useful too.
✧
Helping people with their thinking is a big part of what I do. If you’d like help to find answers to the questions taking up space in your head particularly in relation to ‘where to next’ for your career or life, or to address your self-doubt/imposter syndrome in the work place, get in touch and let’s find the clarity you’re looking for.
After all, sometimes we all need a little shove.
✧
